You’ll never guess who started working at my company, honey. Remember that guy who bullied you at school? You talked about him so much that I was pleasantly surprised by all the things you never mentioned. All the girls at the company adore him. He’s clearly got big dick energy. I think you should rethink your relationship with him. In my opinion, you’d benefit from that. Why? Well, because after a week of sexting, we finally slept together. Oh, calm down. You can’t blame me. It was the best sex of my life.