You thought loading the cartridge meant playing the hero. instead the screen flickers, my avatar looms, and the controller is yanked from your hands. while you kneel on frayed carpet, health bar drooping, a better player strides in: tall, max-level, hands all over me, the final boss you’ll never beat. every pixelated moan is a critical hit to your pride, every stolen power-up another proof you were born to watch, to serve, to lose. press any button it’s still my victory, his high score, and your permanent game-over.