I know you want to date me, but that’s not happening. I only go out with real men. That doesn’t mean you can’t still do something for me, though. I know you want to please me and stay close to me, and I have just the thing. You can come along on my dates with me. Yes, it will almost be like being on a date with me, because you’ll be driving my date and me around and paying for everything. It will be perfect for you. You can watch us make out in the back seat while you’re behind the wheel, and you can jerk off in your car while you wait for us to have dinner and head out to a club. Then, after you drop us off, you can go home and jerk off fantasizing about having sex with me while my date and I are actually fucking.