Imagine this: you’re out at the club or bar, and you see me. Not only do you see me, but I’m looking your way with my sexy, gleaming, fuck-me eyes. That’s right, you finally hit the jackpot. But wait—after all that, you’re not even packing a grown man’s penis. You try to impress me with your tiny shrimp dick and even beg me for an exaggerated pity cock rating. Oh gosh, I don’t think I’ve ever facepalmed so hard or been so disappointed after a night on the prowl. Good thing I have Dave on speed dial. He’s going to come over and fuck me instead, and all you’re going to do is watch. You can stroke that pathetic excuse for a penis all by yourself while you watch my guy friends stretch me and fill me. Hahaha, so I guess the night isn’t a total loss. But let’s be real—the chances I’ll ever call you again are slim to none!