How did our relationship go downhill? We were lovers, tangled up with each other, completely consumed by the feeling of each other’s fingertips. Then I got bored. The sex became dull, so I went looking for pleasure somewhere else. You stopped seeming desirable. You became background noise to me. So I met this guy: tall, handsome, with a full beard. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be. I know you know about him, but what are you going to do? Nothing. Because you don’t want me to leave. You want me to stay even if it means I cheat. Even if it means I satisfy myself somewhere else. Even if you have to watch me every night go out and fuck a real man because you can’t make me cum. Because I deserve an orgasm. You’d be selfish not to let me go get what I need. So you sit back and watch as your wife slowly slips from your grasp, night after night, until you can’t take it. Then you confront me about it, and I tell you the honest truth. How did you go from lover to loser?