I know I’ve been staying late at work a lot lately, but I swear it’s for a good reason. I’m so hard at work on this vibrator campaign, and there’s a ton of research I still need to do. Am I wearing lingerie to work so I can cheat on you? Absolutely not. Am I fucking my boss? Well, yes. But that’s research too. It’s all part of the project we’re working on. Oh no, it’s definitely required that I fuck him on his desk and come home too tired to do anything with you. But it’s not cheating, I promise! Do you believe me, baby?