I’ve noticed your sad, sullen attitude lately, and I’m sick of it, bestie. It’s no fun when you just keep side-eyeing my boyfriend the whole time we’re fucking. I can tell you’re looking at him with total jealousy, wishing you had your own man to fuck the daylights out of you whenever you want. But he’s mine, bestie. You’re going to have to get your own boyfriend, though I’d happily help make that happen.