Honey, I didn’t even realize it’s been two weeks since you had to quarantine at your friend’s place! Yeah, it’s a bit messy in here. Yes, the cleaning lady was here yesterday. I’m not going to lie, the bed is a fucking disaster. This is exactly what it looks like. You remember that swingers club I wanted to go to? Did you say no, like a prude? Well, I went, and I’m never going to be the same again. It’s fucking amazing. I keep setting up little dinners with other couples, and I keep bringing them back to our house. Sometimes these guys have single friends, and I always encourage them to bring them along. I’ve been having a blast getting my brains fucked out by multiple guys. I feel like a little porn star. I feel alive. I’ve never had so much fun in my life, and I’m so happy and turned on all the time. I’m not even sorry about it. I feel like I’ve been cheated this whole time. I can never go back to our boring sex life, so either get used to it or divorce me. Looks like you’re getting turned on by all these stories, though—should I keep going? You can touch yourself if you want. Let me tell you what happened just last night...