Hi! I just called because I need to tell you something very important, so it would be better if you sit down. I just want to tell you the truth: I’m about to break up with you. I’m never coming back home. I have to whisper because he’s sleeping next to me, and I don’t want him waking up because of you... we were fucking all night long, you know he’s tired. You can throw out my stuff, because he already bought me new things. I can tell you want all the details, but I think it’s less humiliating if we just say goodbye... Hmm... interesting, so you want to hear why he’s better than you, and you even want the dirty details of how we met... This is what you wanted, so here we go... stay quiet and learn, you little beta loser!