Honey, I have great news: I’m pregnant. But it’s not yours. Haha, we never fuck. Did you really think it was? Absolutely not. I’ve been fucking your best friend for years. Every football Sunday, I’ve been getting railed by your best friend in our bed while you were too busy eating chips and burgers. You were too stupid to notice that your wife has been blatantly fucking another man. We’re not getting divorced, though. You’re going to lie to your relatives and tell them you’re so happy about my pregnancy. I’ve also invited your friend to move in with us. He’ll be relaxing in our bed while you can sleep in the closet in the guest bedroom like the little bitch you are. I’m never going to fuck you again. You can be my cucked husband maid while I happily screw your best friend.