Boy, do I have a surprise for you! Your wife and I have been friends for years, but there’s something you don’t know. For the last year, I’ve been fucking her—fucking her in ways you never could and making her cum in ways you never could. You’ll be shocked when you hear what happened to your mattress one weekend while you were out of town. I’ll brag about how hot your wife thinks I am and how much she loves my hairy armpits and pussy. Listen while I rub your nose in every juicy detail of our affair and mock you for being such a complete loser. [2018]