I do not want you to be my boyfriend at all. Let’s get that off the table right now. But what you can be is what you were meant to be: an absolute simp. Because let’s be honest, a pussy-free life is the life for you. You’re a born-again virgin. You were never meant to get pussy. That was a complete mistake. And honestly, any pussy that’s ever fucked you should be ashamed of herself. It couldn’t be me. But what’s a fincuck? Well, you’ll fund your new lifestyle, of course. You’ll be funding your new sex life: me and my pleasures. That’s what your feelings will revolve around now. That’s what’s going to give you your biggest thrills. Oh, I have stories — ones that will make you drip and beg to cum. By the way, that’s a $25 cum tax. But don’t worry about that right now. Right now you’re going to stroke to my sex stories while I tease you in lingerie that a better man gets to take off me. Watch how my voice and body language change as I get turned on by my own words. Listen to all the new duties your lifestyle requires. You can come from any tax bracket and be a fincuck. I’ll show you how. Ready for story time? I bet you’re not.